Fun Day

I don't do Mondays.

Mondays are out. They're evil and pestilent. I'll warrant half of the population expend most of their stress anticipating Mondays.

Not me. But there's a trade-off: not having a regular M-F job, I need not fear Mondays, but then again, a Monday might make or break my week. Yes, you M-F job people, you have security. But what about Sunday? Talk to me about Sunday, because it means Monday is coming. How can you realistically relax? Huh? Can't go on a bender. Oh, oh, oh God no. Coming into work with a raging hangover? Hey, as a recreational all-weeker, I'd rate that feeling as a minus-twelve. So, what are your Sunday options?

Fucked. So Sunday is fucked and Monday is also fucked. So where does that leave you? Friday, that holiest of days. Or Saturday, the day 'Hovah gave to sinners. But let's look at it carefully: Friday, you get slide-ass shitfaced. So Saturday, you're a wasted wreck, only suited to go to Reno-Depot and suck up a Price Club hot dog for lunch. Then it's home and your thinning dendrites feast noiselessly upon The Learning Channel until six, which is when you declare amnesty and go take a nap. Hey. Hey. HEY!!! Tomorrow's Sunday, asshole.

So, okay, a third of your week is fucked. What about the other parts of it? Not much left.

Tuesday you're really into work. You have to be, because of all the shit you left undone in anticipation of last weekend. So, work, work work. Home and actually feeling good because this is the first day you didn't feel like shit. Wednesday: make plans with the co-workers for this weekend!!! You asshole. A self-perpetuating never-ending cycle of horror. This is what you look at when you comb your hair in the mirror every morning.

But gamely, you plow on to Thursday! Happy Thursday! This is when you finally have the energy to go to the bank and the post office and mail that goddamn bill and call your grandmother. And you feel a little bit . . . good! Because tomorrow's Friday, fuckin' A! Fuckin' goddamn fuckin' A, tomorrow's Friday all over again! Yay!

And then there's Saturday.

Hy Ate Us

As you can tell, this blog has been officially on hiatus for about two months. Mostly because I'm busy taking care of the darling boy, but also because nothing culinary has come my way recently ever since the Atlantique steak fiasco. Boy, did that dampen my enthusiasm to the tune of $200.

No telling when the next culinary adventure will come along, but . . . in about ten days I will be off to California. About a month after that, I will be off to Japan. It's really endless, these trips . . . sometimes I just don't know how I do it. But I must.

I've been writing lyrics for imaginary songs. As of now I'm too lazy to put them to music but I might get around to it.