Deconstructing Poetry

When I was in school in England in my youth, I was very good at poetry. Reading it, writing it. Now I'm not so good. And I have a beef with those old poets. Revenge time!

I will now deconstruct Wordsworth's "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud" as no one of my English teachers ever would have wanted me to:

I WANDERED LONELY AS A CLOUD

Umm, clouds usually hang out with LOTS of other clouds. They're called Low-pressure Fronts.

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

What is a vale? There are no vales any more, dude. And what do you expect from a cloud? It hangs around like, at sea level all day? Redundant oxymoron, duude!

When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Oh, nice one, Wordsworth, nice one. Say, how long did it take to make up that name, anyway? What was the original? Hartzheim? Dorrit-Pieterzoon? Bevall'acqua? Wouldn't have done quite as well being called William Bevall'acqua, would you?

Continuous as the stars that shine
and twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
along the margin of a bay:

Hey, Bill, there are a LOT more stars in the Milky Way than there are in your weed plot, lemme tell you. Conservative estimates range from ten to fifty trillion. Did you actually bother counting your daffodils?

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

Wow, you should either go into mathematics with that eagle eye of yours, or sign up for ballet lessons.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;

What is it you're watching, dude? Ever seen Columbo? He's pretty cool. But I'd imagine you're more of an American Idol fan. LOTS o' daffodils on that show.