Vostok Needs Women

Mars daytime temperatures: average -55°C.

Vostok, Antarctica? Well, take a look for yourself:

The Biodome

Never mind how pathetic the Biodôme de Montréal is, with all public funds in the hands of the mafia . . . I got to try out my new 75-200mm telephoto lens. And it doesn't care if it's taking pictures of puffins or tigers. Right-click and open in a new window to see them full size.

Do You Make a Potion on a Trip, Man

I took the lyrics to "Your Song" by Elton John, and translated them into Arabic using Google translator. Then, I translated the Arabic into Japanese. Then, I translated the Japanese back to English.

Surprisingly enough, Google Translator did really well. In some cases it nailed the line, word for word, through two completely different languages (could they have already pre-programmed all the lyrics from popular songs into the database?)

First, the real lyrics, then the double-translated version (in italics):
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It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

I'm not one of those who can easily hide

I don't have much money but boy if I did

I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no

Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show

I know it's not much but it's the best I can do

My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss

Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross

But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song

It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do

You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue

Anyway the thing is what I really mean

Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Translation:

This is a bit funny this feeling insideI'm not one of those who can easily hide
If I do, I have a lot of money, do not have a boy
I'd buy a big house where they can live all of us

You, but a sculptor, then again, if not
Do you make a potion on a trip, man
I know it is not much, this is the best way you can do
Hdety my song and this one is for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song of
I might feel is very simple, and is currently being
I hope you will I have to worry about Nakya
I hope you do not mind that I put down in your words
While you are in the world, How wonderful life is

Sitting on top of the roof, I started Moss
Similarly, some poetry over very well, he has me
Type while I wrote this song, but I have a full sun
It's people like you that continue to run

I'm sorry as I forget, I do not have these things
Or green, but, if they were blue, they are please refer to the forgotten
Thing is, I have on what you really mean anyway
I've seen so far is for your eyes

And you can tell everybody this is your song of
I might feel is very simple, and is currently being
I hope you will I have to worry about Nakya
I hope you do not mind that I put down in your words
While you are in the world, How wonderful life is
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It's really sad that they've gotten so good. This kind of thing used to be really funny.

The Food Website That Almost Was

Way back in 2003, I owned the domain name montrealsushi.com. And, armed with all the reviews Luc Devroye had done (he's a couple of posts down) it almost went live.

Too bad.

The Internet, Predicted Almost to the IPad, in 1974

Science Fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke, seemingly having been sent back in a time machine from the year 2001, describes the Internet, in 1974, despite the fact that not a single human being on the planet at the time, including the future architects of the Internet, has any real ideas any such things are going to happen.

At Last it Can be Revealed

Luc Devroye, a.k.a. RestoSpy at Isakaya

B ack in the day, some people asked me who the mysterious RestoSpy was on montrealfood.com. If you were with us back then you'll remember that he was a shadowy figure who seemed to frequent the most expensive restaurants in Montreal -- certainly nothing I could ever have paid him for or afforded myself -- and wrote up some of the best restaurant reviews I have ever seen by anyone, including the food critics at the New York Times.

If RestoSpy really wanted to, he could easily make a living as a food writer. He would grow rich, popular and famous, things I'm sure the real RestoSpy would shun like Greta Garbo.

RestoSpy is, actually, none other than Luc Devroye, who actually is a well-renowned personality, but not in the world of food. He's a master mathematician at McGill and perhaps the world's foremost authority on fonts and typefaces.

For a while back in the early-2000s, Luc and I were the terrorists of the Japanese food scene, going to local restaurants and sometimes trashing them, sometimes not, occasionally in the company of the Gazette's fine dining critic, Lesley Chesterman (at the time of that article, Luc was not yet RestoSpy, so was not undercover). We had absolutely the most uproarious times and I'm sure we scared the bejeebers out of many a sushi chef.

I had the happy experience of meeting him for lunch yesterday after a gap of perhaps seven years. It was as if we had never parted, and I was quick to assure him that even through the vicissitudes of time, he doesn't look a day younger than his 39 years.

He doesn't do food reviews any more, but if I ever revive montrealfood.com again, he'll be at the top of my list on who to call for dining company.

Do yourself a favour and read every single one of his reviews, and if you're an aspiring food writer -- or indeed, ANY type of writer, weep. The quality of his pieces elevated montrealfood.com into the stratosphere of food review sites before there was any UrbanSpoon or Yelp and I was lucky enough to stumble upon some of the best writers in the world, who all worked for nothing more than a few drinks occasionally at Luc's house or mine or theirs, and monetizing montrealfood never occurred to any of us.

I still own montrealsushi.com, and who knows . . . if I ever decide to start it up, Luc will be the first person I call.

WWII Was Just a Bullet Away From Never Happening

How would you like to be the man that had Hitler looking down the barrel of a gun in the middle of a battle during WWI yet didn't shoot him?

It actually happened, and Hitler actually found out the name of the soldier on the British side who spared him -- he asked Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain to convey his gratitude to the man.

Imagine: that guy has approximately 60,000,000 people's lives on his conscience. One fucking guy too lazy to kill one more German was responsible for WWII.

Another little-known fact about Hitler was that WWII came about because he had been afflicted by an illness going around at the same time as the Great Flu of 1918; an illness that baffled the doctors of its day (and still does) which somehow struck its victims down at first in a sort of "sleeping" phase from which, if they awakened, large numbers acquired a Parkinson's-like range of symptoms and underwent complete personality changes.

It's well known that Hitler had a Parkinsons-like tremor after turning 50 or so, but could this mysterious disease somehow have created the madman that Hitler became?

Two horrific coincidences -- one eminently preventable; and six million Jews might have survived and this world would be a completely different place.

Two Manhattans in Ice, Sir?

More ice than would ever fill six hundred billion Manhattans, and enough ice to dwarf the real Manhattan:

A Diner, Montreal, April 2nd, 1975.

Nathan. A picture from today, but belonging to 1975.

Maya

A royal couple, circa 1975

Portrait

Nathan at Paris Beurre