Murgh Makhani (Butter Chicken)

Is this not insanely tasty-looking, my flock? Well, rest assured that it's one of the best curries I've ever made, and I've probably made over 3,000 in my lifetime. This is the ULTIMATE Butter Chicken!

Here's how it went down: I was heavily inspired after being at Devi yesterday so I arbitrarily decided to make Butter Chicken. Good move!

I found a base recipe that looked pretty good and I modified it, as I am Wont To Do.

Here's a shot of the recipe and my chicken scratch alterations:



I basically just upped everything up a notch but kept the framework intact. You'll need an immersion blender or a standing blender for the sauce. N.B.: BRINE THE CHICKEN, always brine the chicken!

Then proceed as follows. The ingredient list may look long but at most the whole thing will take about two hours:

Ingredients

Chicken
2 teaspoons grated ginger
4 teaspoons minced or pureed garlic
Salt to taste
2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 lbs. boneless skinless chicken thighs, brined for 30 minutes, patted dry and cut into 1 inch pieces
3/4 cup crème fraîche
1 tablespoon Garam Masala

Sauce
4 cups chopped fresh tomatoes
4 teaspoons grated ginger
4 teaspoons minced garlic
4 green cardamom pods
4 cloves
2 bay leaves
1 cup chicken stock
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 cup (about 2 heaping tablespoons) cold unsalted butter, diced
4 teaspoons. grated ginger
1/3 cup whipping cream

To Finish
2 tsp. Garam Masala
4 tsp. brown sugar
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
Whipped cream

Method

Chicken
Combine ginger, garlic, salt, cayenne and lemon juice in a large bowl. Add chicken and toss to coat. Let chicken marinate for 20 minutes at room temperature. Add yogurt and Garam Masala and let marinate for 20 minutes longer.

Preheat oven to 450. Place chicken on a rack over a roasting pan (or baking pan) and roast for 15-20 minutes until cooked through. Reserve.

Sauce
Combine tomatoes, ginger, garlic, cardamom, cloves, bay leaves and chicken stock in a large saucepan over medium-high heat and bring to boil. Turn heat to medium-low and simmer for 25 minutes or until tomatoes have completely broken down. Remove whole spices. Puree in a blender (or use an immersion blender).

Bring sauce to a boil. Add cayenne and simmer until sauce begins to thicken, about 5 minutes. Gradually whisk in butter. Add the chicken and any juice and simmer for 5 minutes. Add (1 tsp.) ginger and cream and simmer another 5 minutes. Taste and adjust spiciness by adding up to 3/4 tsp. more cayenne. Stir in Garam Masala and sugar and season with salt and pepper to taste.

With spoon, drizzle whipped cream in swirls over each portion, garnish with cilantro, and serve over rice or naan bread.

Mission: Unprofitable

Here's the deal: come up with any combination resembling "Mission: Impossible." The only rules are that you have to start with "Mission." the rules for the second are that it must end in a final "l" sound, ie. it can't be a word like "ludicrous," but it would be nice if it also begins with an "im" (as in "impractical.")

But then you have to give a one-line synopsis of the plot!

I shall start:

"Mission: Reprehensible." The team volunteers for an impossible task: educate Sarah Palin.

"Mission: Undrinkable." The team volunteers to sample various beers made by Anheuser Busch.

Go to it, Jims and Rollins!

The Airlines' New Scheme to Create More Capacity . . .

. . . seems doomed to failure.

Blood, Photography and Indian Food

A couple of weeks ago I must have bashed my right elbow against something, probably a door frame and probably in a stupor on my way to the bathroom at 4 a.m., because in the past week it really started to hurt. (Don’t worry, this definitely gets weirder). Even now, maybe three weeks later, lifting anything makes my elbow scream.

So I did what I always do. I took three aspirin a few days ago, and then I took another three the day before yesterday. (I don’t trust Tylenol, Advil, et. al. I like my aspirin and it never bothers my stomach).

The pain went away. But then last night, as I was watching some dumb TV show, I sneezed, hard. And I reached for the Kleenex as usual as it began to drip, but this time it was blood. Bright arterial blood. Drip, drip, drip. Not quite a torrent, but it wouldn’t stop. No doubt all that aspirin had conned all the platelets into going to a bar and then sleeping it off, because they sure were absent. It was ice compresses and nose pinch for about an hour until it finally stopped.

Well, that was fun, said I. Hope that’s the end of that.

I got about three hours sleep, because this morning Brigitte and I were due to do our first-ever photo shoot. Yes, you read it right. About a week ago, the owner of Devi, a posh Indian place on Crescent (which I reviewed a while back) needed some photos for his food, and had liked the ones I did for the review. So at seven I was up, poring through my Digital Rebel manual, setting up fake shots and trying to get that “Gourmet” magazine food-porn thang. Trying to figure out what “aperture” and “bracketing” were dilly-dallying about.

At any rate, at 11 or so Brigitte and I showed up at Devi on a sunny, cold winter’s day and I set up my stuff. Brigitte brought a bunch of props, like placemats and cool white plates and cool cutlery. Hell, we’ve never done this before! But we acted like a veteran team. I brought my laptop so I could check the “rushes”, so to speak, and my tripod, and we set up near the window. The light wasn’t that great, but it was all we had, and although I built a makeshift light box this morning I decided not to use it because it looked too silly.

So we set up and I did a few lighting test shots and then the food started to come out. I’d gotten into about three of the fifteen or so dishes we had to do when I felt an enormous sneeze coming on. You can guess the rest. I had to do at least three dishes one-handed, pinching my nose with tissues and an ice cube stuffed up it so blood wouldn’t get anywhere while the horrified owner looked on. It’s hard to operate a camera on a tripod with one hand; this is now an established fact.

Luckily, my camera ran out of battery and I’d forgotten my spare, so Brigitte had to drive home and get it, so I was off the hook for the half hour the bleeding took to stop.

But the prop wine and beer flowed and we finished up and I've just spent two hours editing the 115-or-so photos, and I was amazed at how well they turned out.

By the way, if you’ve never been to Devi, the owner, name of Praveen, is a super guy and he needs customers. The place isn’t as expensive as it appears to be and it’s spectacular food. Tell him I sent you and I bet you he’ll comp you something or other!

Anyway, here are some of the pics that my bleeding nose allowed to be taken:


Samosas!

Butter Chicken!

Whole Fish!

Dunno!

Dunno again, but looks great!
Tandoori chicken! (In there somewhere)

Shrimpies!

$12 lunch special!

Devi dessert with mango lassi!

Learn a New Language!

Here are some phrases everyone should learn when going abroad.

She Even Snores!

Hmm . . . I'd think twice about "doing" (as some wiseass CNN commentator remarked, "I'd do her") something that looks like Joan Rivers (and probably talks like her). But she might make an entertaining dinner companion when you have guests. No doubt much hilarity would ensue.

Hey, you could take her to restaurants and enjoy the look on the waiters' faces! (wheelchair/feed tube not included). You could explain her as "paralyzed from the feet up."

"And what will it be for you, ma'am?"

"Whaddo I look like, chopped liver? I'll have the chopped liver. Morty, you wanna pass the salt? These knishes need some salt. And what kind of place is this anyway? You got pictures of angels on the walls. Where's a picture of a rabbi? It's racism, that's what it is. Call my publicist and tell him not to book here any more."

I can picture it all now!

Uhh, Why Do I Have Trouble . . .

. . . believing these are Michael Jackson's kids? Do they have vitiligo too?