Nano-cuisine

A chef friend of mine, who works at a prestigious downtown address, and who demanded in shrill terms that he remain nameless, claims to have created a bold new cooking style that he swears will take the culinary world by storm.

"I call it 'Nano-cuisine,' but it's actually more accurate to call it 'Micro-cuisine.' I haven't yet got it down to the complete 'nano' level, " he explained sheepishly.

"So let me understand this," I said, and hazarded a guess: "You're making, like really, really small appetizers. Amuses-bouche."

He was shocked! "No, no, not that at all," he proclaimed, and since we were at my house, he asked me "Do you have any chicken?" Yes, I said, but it was leftovers from being grilled the night before.

"Perfect," he said and ran out the front door. In a few minutes he was back from his car, bearing a small metal box.

"This," he said, "is an Electron Microwave."

Huh? I was totally confused. "I got it from an inventor in Germany," he explained. "It's not out on the market yet. It's not even meant for food — it's for purifying metals."

So . . . . ? He insisted I get out the chicken, so I did. It was a half of a whole breast that I'd grilled the night before. He asked for a saucer and put the chicken breast on it. He opened a little metal door on the box and put the saucer in — it just managed to fit. "It's Li-Ion-powered," he told me, when I asked where the wires were.

And then he pushed some hidden control — this is a tiny box, so I couldn't see anything — and the box started buzzing quite noisily, but only for about ten seconds.

"There! " he said, and asked me for a dinner plate. Mystified, I complied, and from the box he removed the saucer. I was blown away. There was only a tiny brown thing sitting in the center in about half a teaspoonful of what looked like juice. "That's the chicken breast!" he chortled in response to my frozen mask of a face. "It's the total essence of your chicken breast, electron microwaved to nano size! Sorry, micro size! If it were nano you wouldn't be able to see it."

Amazed, I looked more closely at the saucer. Indeed, it did look somewhat chicken-like.

"Let me plate it!" he said, and grabbed my dinner plate. With a tiny sugar spoon he delicately scooped up the chicken morsel and its juice and deposited it in the center of the plate. "We need a garnish," he said, and spotted my basil plant on the shelf. He grabbed a couple of leaves off of it and put them next to the chicken. "There! Taste it!"

So I got the smallest fork in my drawer and delicately nudged the chicken breast onto it along with a basil leaf and put it in my mouth.

My God! I was floored, almost falling backward against the counter. "Yes!" he yelled excitedly, "See, it's the flavor of the whole grilled chicken breast reduced into one tiny morsel! All the fat and the calories are there as well! Isn't it amazing?"

I had to admit, after I swallowed, I was full. Completely sated! This guy has an incredible thing going. He says he's going to open up the first "Nano-cuisine" restaurant next month, right here in Montreal. Keep your eyes on this space!