Like most, I suppose, I like to have on hand that emergency snackin’ thang that, way after dinner, in a manner reminiscent of Hoppy Hankerings, calls one’s appetite to short order.
So if I’m equipped, I guess having a couple of packets of ramen or a can of condensed Campbell’s vegetable soup is a good thing. (Yes, I was a child once, and Onyums and Spaghetti-Os and Froot Loops did make up a large part of my diet. Got a fuckin' problem widdat? Okay, maybe not Froot Loops. Alphabits.)
So when I was shopping the other day, I saw among the instant noodles that old siren, Chef Woo baked (baked! only 1g fat!) Thai instant noodles (just add boiling water.)
I think this is the third time that fucking package has waylaid me, except my pathetic brain never remembers. It looks like an awesome, noodle-filled paradise with vegetables and maybe little chunks of chicken? in a THAI soup! Yes, THAI! How much better can instant noodles get? With one gram of fat! So I always fall for it, because I’m invariably hungry when I shop.
So I made it, a couple of hours after an awesome BLT (I’m not smoking anything, just recovering from an emaciating voyage to Japan) and it was the most horrid dreck I ever have tasted. Gummy, salty, chewy, watery, fake-lemon-grass-coconut chemicals, NASTY-ass shit and I swear, this time, really, is my last.
May Chef Woo be barbecued in sesame oil in a large polystyrene vat in a Hunan garden.
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