Ouf

The worst . . . easily the worst. Here I sit in this same ol' tatami room in Nara. I can't believe I'm here again.

I really DID NOT WANT TO GET ON THAT PLANE. I couldn't sleep all night before. My stomach was fucked just knowing what I had to do. But I had to do it . . . too many people at stake. Bring a little boy halfway across the world . . . well, let's say a Moon Shot is not too dissimilar.

And that's what it felt like. The fatigue, the sheer, numbing fatigue of waiting in line at security in one of the most crowded periods of the vacation season, at 6 a.m. The surly Northwest checkin people. The plane. Although I love to fly, I didn't feel like flying today. Leaving Brigitte and my safe, warm, happy house.

And then the flight to Detroit . . . horrific. Trying to sleep but as usual not succeeding. Then Detroit, Michigan, that asshole on the surface of this good Earth. "I'd like a white wine, please . . . "

"Sorry sir, we can't serve alcohol until noon on Sundays in Michigan." Whaaaa? Buttfuck, Egypt.

And then that insane 13-hour trek to Osaka on a rickety 747 with the gay pursers and actually accidentally falling asleep on the girl next to me because I thought somehow it was Brigitte and the stewardess waking me up to tell me not to (the girl swore she didn't call anyone) and then Taishi vomiting out of nowhere and trying to catch it with the cheap airplane pillow and it going all over my $250 coat and then the sheer horror of looking at my watch . . . it seemed that every time I looked it actually grew LONGER until touchdown.

And then the arrival, my GOD and the lineup at Immigration, the absolute chaos of the fucking Japanese who somehow seemed unable, this time, to coordinate themselves and my tired boy and my exhausted me, in yet another line (which line? Form two lines! No, form one! No, go here!) for 40 minutes . . .

Well, let me just say this futon feels pretty good right now.

This chuu-hai tastes pretty good too, and I'm going to just DIE now, if it's okay with you.

Nicky Out, from the darkside of the Earth . . .