Writing

Writing is so much fun. Think about it; there's no effort! You don't even need a typewriter any more! Hey, can you put 26 letters together in a somewhat organized fashion? Or is it 28? I forget, but hey, I just wrote something!

And maybe it entertained you! Do the math. You are READING WHAT I AM WRITING. Hey, did I issue some RSVP for you to read it? Nope. Yo, that writer dude, Updike or something, just croaked a couple of weeks ago. Did you read anything he wrote? I mean, the guy EARNED BUCKS doing what I'm doing RIGHT NOW. "Cept, well, I ain't Brad Pitt and I ain't married to Angelina Jolie so I guess that's why I'm not an actor.

This Is A Pen. Do you know that that's what the first words of Japanese they use to teach foreigners? Kore wa pen desu.

How pathetic is that? Couldn't they have at least come up with "My Country 'tis of Thee" or some shit? What. "This is a pen?"

Holy fucking christ.

Okay, well, now that I'm on my private soapbox, and YOU'RE the suckers who are reading this, let me just inject a subliminal message: Ever Heard Of Dust Mites? Google it. You just don't want to know about dust mites.