Trying to be Green

I'm really trying to be Green. Did you know that sleeping during (most) of the day saves almost 18.6% in CO2 emissions? It's true.

Not watering plants: they gradually die, but the water savings are actively reducing wastage. Feeding fish: they're fish, they really couldn't give a shit. They like swimming upside-down.

Being awake at night is extremely cost-effective, as the photons from the light are not wasted on the skin and as long as you only keep twelve halogens on at a time, you're getting valuable Vitamin D. Just be sure to monitor the channels of the TVs in the kitchen, living room and bedroom and make sure the ones you're not actually watching at the time are on mute. Did you know how many foot-pounds per square inch of carbon emissions that saves per week? Hmm, Neither do I.

I recycle everything. Especially my brain. It needs to be recycled pretty much hourly, if not minutely, and I like to think that diminishes emissions.

So do as I do and perhaps we can save the planet. It's the first step before the journey that precedes the last step!

Uhh, or something like that.