"I Couldn't Get Out"

Reuters/AP

"I couldn't get out of the bathroom because the door handle was stuck," reports Nicholas Robinson of his three-minute long ordeal at the hands of faulty mechanisms yesterday.

"There was a beer on the table outside that I desperately wanted to consume, but it proved to be beyond me. The door was somehow jammed from the inside, so I yelled and yelled for Brigitte, but she was completely asleep."

Robinson eventually managed to free himself after some quick thinking. "I thought that maybe putting a pointy object into the door handle might work, so I grabbed Brigitte's manicure file and shoved it right in."

It worked, and Robinson is none the worse for wear. "That beer was the best I've had in the last twenty-four hours and I want each and every one of you to consider owning your own manicure set (from Lancombe)."

There is an ongoing investigation.