A Fiery Tale

Once upon a time, there was an enormous, very bright ball that came almost every day (see exception, Plague of Locusts, Matthew MCXVI:18) and settled in the sky. It was viewable from almost any perspective and delivered a quite noticeable amount of heat.

This was called "A Sun".

However, according to my sources on High, its pension was skewered by backroom dealings between the Moon, the Clouds, and the Rain, and has now officially gone on strike.

How long? "All goddamn summer," the Sun rumbled in our last interview. "Fuck the Moon and those guys. All they ever do is get in the way. I'm done, finished, on strike."

So there you have it. Retire your sunscreen and fire up your moonbrellas.

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