Aaaargh

Eeee-yuck.

I don't know what comes over me at five a.m. when I wake up hungry. I don't know what possesses me, when I'm at the grocery store, to buy Heinz baked beans and Schneider's Angus Beef hot dogs, then decide to combine them with a few slices of onion and a teaspoon of chopped garlic, microwave it in a bowl for about five minutes, and then expect it to taste good.

What is it in my tiny brain that ever, ever tells me it will taste good, or EVEN SATISFY MY HUNGER????

Is it the same tiny part of the medulla oblongata that also persuades me that Big Macs are actually food?

I think goats' testicles would be preferable. Maybe with blood sausage and crickets in a bechamel sauce. Mmm mmm good.