Shifting Moods

Hey, that's a great name for a song. I'm sure it's been done, though.

But my moods always seem to be ruled by what book I'm reading . . . now it's a Mafia book. Yesterday it was a Hitler book. I wish I was in the mood for cookbooks but I'm going through a really, really dry cooking period. I just don't feel like it.

Of course it's the looming dread of having to go to Japan and leave my son there -- the awesome thought of what is coming up in two days -- it's like I want to contact my future self and tell him that's it's going to be okay, that you can do it, you WILL do it. You bargain with yourself, I swear. "It's going to be okay if you wear the green tie."

That kind of stuff. Or, "Well, you're not going to prison, are you? Just a couple of planes and a hotel, then you'll be back! How's about that?" But the dread never seems to leave and it paralyses you, stops you from operating on all cylinders. Like going to the dentist or going through surgery.

You rationalise everything and stay in a state of stasis just by saying "Well, I have to do THAT, so why should I be doing THIS?" So you end up doing nothing.

And I guess that's exactly what I'm doing on a snowy January day . . . reading a Mafia book, drinking scotch and doing nothing.

But brighten up, people! There's leftover pizza for dinner and Lord of the Rings III on the menu!

Yay! (See how I do it?)