Good Morning, SRI

Um, I don't really know how many of you are on anti-depressants, because frankly, you never write or call every week like you should.

But should, GOD FORBID, you be taking an anti-depressant, hey, what the fuck's the matter, you afraid to walk to the store? BE AWARE.

I have done drugs you really don't want to know about. They don't involve heroin or absolutely life-threatening drugs like li'l buddy Mikey Jackson was into, but I have done some serious drugs.

Just for the record, these involved barbiturates, opiates, amphetamines, hallucinogenics (up the wazoo) stimulants, sedatives, liqueurs (up the wazoo) but it's very happy to report that unlike Heath Asshole or John Belushi, I Survived Them All. All of that shit. I survived.

But you know what? Look down at yourself, right now, as you're reading this. You are basically a bag of flesh, water, bacteria, viruses and MANY, too many to count reasonably, chemicals. Oh, sorry, forgot the waste materials.

But guess what I came up against in this career (so to speak) of drugdom? Hey, despite what you think, I KNEW what cocaine was going to do to me. When I did acid, approximately, by my count, 70 times, I KNEW what it was going to do to me. I took it and I accepted it. Mandrax? Methaqualone? Methamphetamine? Morphine? Datura Stramonium? (the worst of the worst) -- history.

Until I met Effexor. THIS is the drug that has conquered me. This drug is your worst nightmare. It's in the literature. "Takes two weeks to take effect." Oh, really? When a hit of acid sidelines you in one and a half hours? TWO WEEKS????? You know it has to be insidious.

And it's official: from a former party animal, Effexor is the most disturbing drug I have ever experienced. By a category of thousands. It turned me first into a fucking zombie and then it made me a screaming maniac when I tried to stop it. I'm still in its grasp, but let the warning go out -- perhaps heroin is a better bet to cure your anxiety than Paxil, Effexor, Prozac, and all those serotonin-reuptake Inhibitors (SRIs)

Weird, eh?