Snake Charmers

I'm sure you've heard of them. It's part of the popular lexicon. You know, like Whirling Dervishes.

But have you ever actually seen a snake charmer? I know you haven't, because I know you didn't live in India for ten years in the 60s.

But I saw it. I saw it in front of my own eyes, and it was horrible. It was like watching your sister being raped and then killed in real time. The guy would come by the house, maybe once a month.

This guy was a real snake charmer. Trouble is, he was a REAL snake charmer. He came equipped with a fucking six-foot cobra. The biggest fucking snake you have ever seen. Right in front of your eyes. A King Cobra, not on National Geographic Channel.

A poor fucking snake that only wanted to wander about the cane fields, eating an occasional rat.

But that was only half of the deal. Then, there was a mongoose. You probably don't really know what a mongoose is, but think of a tiny raccoon, or maybe a large rat. But this little fucker, in real life, was a cobra killer. That was its specialty.

Yeah, you've heard of cockfights, or even dogfights. But this was brutal. The mongoose always won. The cobra never had a chance. There was no possibility of parole for the snake. It didn't matter that it was ten times the size of the mongoose -- the snake always -- always -- lost.

I saw a full-grown, almost eight-foot King Cobra try to escape this little mammal's wrath. It moved so fast across the lawn that you practically couldn't see it. It was in screaming mode to escape with its life. But it could never win.

That was the name of the game.

The owner would pack up, drag the dead snake away, and go to the next job.

On this, good people, I kid you not.

The only reason I mention this is because I think I'm being snake-charmed by a con man. The game in which you can never win. More on this later.