I'm a Physickist

The back bedroom

Flock, you didn't know it, but I built a small version of the Large Hadron Collider in the back spare room. Those fools. You don't need 59,000 kilometers of cables and tubing to catch one hadron.

I caught one on the first day but I let him go because he was too small. Such is life. I'm looking forward to getting a bigger hadron, however, and am immersed in my cookbooks deciding just how I'll prepare him.

I'm thinking Gorgonzola cream sauce, with Pastis, lightly flambéed. Just what a particle-acceleratorized hadron needs. Simple, keep it simple.

Hadrons can be delicious but unless you have a Small Hadron Collider you're unlikely to pick one up at the local farmer's market.

I'll email you the specifications, but beware, they're 130,987 pages long! And you'd better have a good electrician.