The Funnest Weekend Ever

When you look at earth from space, said one astronaut, it's impossible to believe that all that shit is happening down there. I mean, think about it. That bright blue orb, impossibly beautiful . . . and crawling with vermin. No really, think about it. Unless you actually LANDED in, say, a Nebraska corn field, it would LOOK like Paradise from anywhere above twenty miles away.

Kind of like looking at Lady Gaga from 20 miles away. You can't see all the zits.

But oh, Flock, what a marvelous weekend we're coming up to! Surely one that goes down in history. Kate and Wills! Kate and Wills! Say it until you throw up on your keyboard.

The last Shuttle Mission! Thank fucking god for that. The first one was boring, they managed to kill 14 people and it's still like a "Bus in the Sky." No more buses at this stop! You'll have to fondle the Soyuz's Flight Director in private places for a ticket to space, unlessin' you want to become Richard Branson's personal whore!

The Arab Spring! Finally, Arabs turning on themselves instead of their perceived enemies! Turn up the volume! An entire species becomes self-aware! Let's just get past that massacre in 1615 between the Tulwars and the Armenians and then maybe we can step into the 18th century! Hurrah!

Tornadoes ruining the South! There are no words other than Yes Yes Yes! Divine flatulence which has switched its attention from Japan for a moment to concentrate on the lower rungs of humanity for hating anyone who isn't white and accuses President O'Bama of being a) not American (anyone can tell from his name that he's Irish) b) a nignog (everyone not from Mississippi is a nignog) and a muslim boot-licker because his middle name is Hussein. Yep, like Saddam! Never mind that this is the equivalent of having the middle name "John" (why, what a coincidence! That just happens to be MY middle name!)

OOOOOOOOOO it's all coming up, my dearest Flock, and you read it here first!