Hitler as a Carrot

You know, if I were an enterprising toy manufacturer, I'd make a plastic carrot, say, about 12" high, with a crude caricature of Hitler, say, with a "genuine nylon moustache with real bristles!" and an internal recorder with the actual voice of Hitler spouting off in his most famous speeches to the assembled masses who unfortunately didn't live to be a thousand.

Think about it. There'd be a little black button on the side, and a "carrot arm" -- maybe a leafy twig? would totally randomly give a "Sieg Heil" salute and his eyes would light up at the same time with some internal mechanism . . . this could conceivably go on for hours if you used a 9-volt battery. You could just relax and watch him spout his vitriol in a language you don't understand, coming from a cheap, tinny speaker in the side of the head of the carrot and just . . . enjoy! You could even lay bets on how many times his leafy-twig arm shot up to punctuate some Jüden-untermensch remark. And hey, let's not stop there! How about Goebbels as a turnip? Himmler as a fart? (Hmm, that would definitely be hard to replicate, but it could be done.)

He would of course have his own plastic stand, some cheap, flimsy faux-wood thingy that would emphasize the carroty nothingness and dollar-store ethos he was so emblematic of.

Just a thought. If you're in the dollar store business and think this could work, my email is nick@montrealfood.com.