This Just In

It seems two patrons in the rich seats at a classical music concert at the Orchestra Hall in Chicago decided to throw a fistfight. It wasn't apparently enough to stop the concert, but apparently the conductor, Ricardo Muti, stared "daggers" at the two pugilists.

Here's what was overheard from a seat just behind the two men:

Man A: "Psst. Your mother wears army boots."
Man B: "That's not what she told me in bed last night."

Man A: "Oh yeah? Is that why your sister was out so late at my place?"

Man B: "Fuck my sister!"

Man A: "Oh, I did!"

Man B: "Why, you son of a bitch . . ." (raises fists)

Man A: "Hey, chill, it's the second movement coming up."

Man B reluctantly lowers fists. "Okay. But watch it."

(Three minutes later) Man A: "Brahms should have written this andante, not sostenuto."

(Fistfight breaks out).