I know recent events have given you pause, far too many reasons to doubt my sanity. It is regrettable, and I regret it.
But I fuckin' got my shit wired tight this morning and made Brigitte the BEST FUCKING CAPPUCINO she will have had, will have, and WILL HAVE AGAIN.
I summoned every existing (believe me, I'm now having to outsource) fucking braincell and
put the coffee
in the espresso creature
put exactly *one* cube of brown sugar in THE BIG CUP
got out the Braun tweezer thingy (well, it sounds like what you'd think a tweezer would sound like)
jammed that coffee into that little fuck
nuked that bastard 2% milk
BEAT IT TO NEAR-EXPIRATION until almost NO BUBBLES could survive any more and assembled in that miracle thingy, The Black Cup That Is Exactly The right Size.
Are or are you not FUCKING PROUD OF ME?
Beamingly proud! May I ask, how many ounces is the perfect cup?
ReplyDeleteUhh, you've got me over a barrel here . . . how's about (arms extending) "This big?"
ReplyDeleteIndeed I am. And most impressed that you didn't stick a wee black chicky in there as well.
ReplyDelete