I no longer do well in crowds. I have memories of many, many rock concerts -- some even famous -- and I remember how I dealt with the idea of being with 18,000 to 50,000 human beings all in the same space. I think I must have drugged myself into numbness back then, but I just couldn't do it now.
Just a busy, crowded, noisy restaurant now has me on edge. Not exactly a panic attack, but an anxiety "moment". I know I'll survive, but I just want to be anywhere but there.
I realise that as I get older, things must be more orderly; randomness makes me extremely nervous, and a stadium full of people is a recipe for randomness.
Order is good -- chaos is bad.
Dunno why I've gotten this way.
Probably that hit of acid I took when I saw Santana at Quezar Stadium in '73.
BTW That was the same stadium in which they filmed "Dirty Harry." It is no more. But I drank many Southern Comforts and watched rock shows there.
ReplyDeleteI used to enjoy the excitement of crowds. It was nothing to be right up front, trying to touch Ian Gillan's toes.
ReplyDeleteNow I have to plug my ears just to hear my own thoughts and I can't even touch my own toes.
: )
Ai yai yai, I used to get giddy at crowds but now I get flighty, panicky.
ReplyDeleteJust the thought that I am seated (standed) in a huge crowd just sets off all my alarm buttons.
Nowhere to run, no bathrooms, no sudden exits. Freak and you are lost.
I ALWAYS leave a concert/movie/event before it finishes.
Christ, just the thought of being in a huge crowd gives me the heebs, like my now (old) fear of stairs.
Weird how age changes us.