Wine

It always bugs me when food reviewers carefully note the name of the wine they ordered.

Who the fuck cares? Am I going to go out and buy that wine based on their recommendation? Are they sommeliers, on a busman's holiday?

I admit guilt: I've done it too. But it's so contrived, almost as if just writing "Alsace-de-Lorraine" makes you seem intelligent. Hey, it's French! Lots of people can't even pronounce it, let alone read it! Must be good!

Look, I'm in the biz. It takes one to know one. Food writing is a very peculiar art, and not many do it well. And it's hard to do well. How many variations are there on "tasty"? After a while they run out and you're left holding the "yummy" bag.

But wine! Wine! Ooooh, just write a few wine label words, throw in some opinion like "musky, oakish" and all of a sudden you're Mr. Review.

Fuckin' A, how the fuck did I get into this business? Can you, my loyal readers tell me that one?

I should have gone into aerospace.