John 'n' Tom

Just what IS it with John Travolta, Tom Cruise, Scientology and rumors? Fer chrissakes, if you're gay, Tom and John, just come out and say so! We really couldn't care less! You don't look any less manly surfing the tops of trains, Tom, or dressing in dreadlocks and drooling, Johnboy! I mean, going to all the trouble of having sham marriages, in-vitro kids . . . it's FAR more bizarre than Michael Jackson's tales of woe.

In retrospect, I made way too much fun of Jacko. Because you know what differentiated him from you two? Jacko had massive amounts of something you never had: talent.

So it's for you two that I put together this wonderful portrait.