The Deal? Make Sure And Get a Receipt

Here’s the deal. You meet someone. They have absolutely no idea what you’re like except what they see from your actions and what you tell them.

And you really have no agenda, you’re not making any “moves” or being devious, you’re just you.

And you fall in love. I mean, both of you.

You interact for a while but then the inevitable happens: they meet your family or friends. You meet theirs.

Various people have various levels of “familyhood” or friendships but I just have two, and it’s pretty much carved in a Tahitian marae.

But inevitably your relatives get your partner and start answering all the juicy questions, starting with “Why does he do this?" This, my friends, is the beginning of the Kiss of Doom. Because all of a sudden they’re co-conspirators, trading secrets about YOU. They’ll never admit it, but they’re doing it. And I’m sick to death of it.

When I marry someone I don’t marry their cousin-sixth-removed. I don’t involve myself in backstories or family/friend feuds and if I ever get into them I get out as soon as possible.

At least, all this, I try. And I know it’s denial, but when I marry someone I marry HER. And if not, I DON’T marry her.

I don’t know how selfish that is.

But if you calculate it, it's "What does one plus one equal?" Hopefully not one. Fermi, dove sei quando ho bisogno di te?