Upon Burgers

Hey, burgers are simple, right? Ya slap together some ground meat, cook it and put it on a bun.

But burgers are one of the most complicated meals I know how to cook. First of all, they can't be cold. The timing is crucial. Second of all, everyone has their preferences. No mustard. No onions. No lettuce. Well done. Medium rare. Shoe leather. No blood. Blood.

It's not like a slam-dunk such as bolognese. To make a good burger and to do it correctly for, say, four people, is as difficult as making pizza from scratch.

It's the wrong meal to make if you're expecting company. You'll be spending a LOT of time in the kitchen. I swear it's a two-man operation. Last night I made burgers for four but I was all afternoon in the kitchen, chopping garlic and onions for the burgers themselves (a mixture of ground pork, veal and beef), then mixing them by hand, pressing them with my happy burger press which forms perfect patties, putting them in aluminum foil and refrigerating them.

Then you have to grill the buns. No small task, as I wasn't using a grill-grill but a grill pan. You want them hot! But only two fit in the pan at a time (bottom-top).

Then I have to make "special sauce", which consists of ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, wine vinegar and chopped gherkins.

Then . . . the side dish! Must make potatoes! Oven fries! So, that distracts me no end. Shoulda made corn on the cob, but I didn't.

The burgers were good. Very good. But next time I think I'll just make Indonesian curry. Far easier to slap together.