If only Henry Kissinger were still here, that popmpous elitist warmongering asshole who reportedly prayed in a drunken haze at some crucial negotiational stage with that other pompous asshole, Richard Nixon, in some World Peace (read: World War) talks. Fuck, has that jerk gone away yet? Even I don't know. But if he hasn't, I'll gladly do him in for you. Either that, or the pope, take your pick, in this sweet holiday season.
Actually, I'm feeling particularly vindictive in this happy Kwanzaa celebration event. Anyone else you want me to take out? Sorry, wives are out.
But how about the Chinese? Let's dispose of them. Why? Why dispose of 3 billion people in a single flash of light? Well, okay, 3 billion flashes of light.
Because they have decided to infiltrate our beloved Western world with their evil, pre-planned machinations.
Namely, Tai-chan's Christmas toy. Yes, this venomous attempt by those nefarious dumpling-eating hordes (delicious, I might add!) to subvert my Xmas experience by providing a Christmas toy that consists of 1,800 pieces.
Can - you - count - to - 18? Can ya double it? Can you quadruplplex it?
Okay, if you can count it, CAN YOU ASSEMBLE IT????
Case rested. Execute them all at 5 a.m. I'll officiate.
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