Extortion Dot Com

"From this Thursday 12 January, companies can apply to the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) for the domain name suffix of their choosing -- from dot brand (.brand) or dot product (.camera, for example) through to generic terms like .food, .hotel or .pugs. They have until 12 April to get their applications, along with the $185,000 fee, to ICANN. After that date it is expected that further applications won't be accepted for at least two or three years."

The absolute brazenness of ICANN (they're the guys to whom you have to go to get a domain name and its suffix, which, at the dawn of the Internet was limited to just three: dot com, dot net and dot org) is beyond words. That they can and will get away with it says reams about the powerlessness of any regulatory body to come in and, well, REGULATE these cyberthugs.

Basically, what this means is, sure, you can buy a domain name suffix of, say, .apple. So your collection of websites could all read like this: http://www.stevesplace.apple. But you will have to be a jillionaire. You will have to pay the $185,000 fee to apply, but in addition, there will be a yearly $100,000 charge for maintenance.

"Buying one of these domains is a big responsibility. The application form comprises of 53 questions and delivers around 200-300 pages of responses. You need to show that you have the financial stability to operate as a registry and if you are acting as an open registry on a generic term you need to show who you are going to market that term to," says some IT wonk about the Great Internet Shakedown. 

So yes. Apple is of course going to snap up dot apple. But what the FUCK is the purpose? So it can have a page called "www.mac.apple"? HOW FUCKING LUDICROUS IS THAT? Dot xxx provoked a firestorm of criticism from the porn industry, and quite naturally. Now it'll be ultra-easy to just block any domain ending in xxx, although before, they could -- and did -- hide behind such innocent-sounding domains as www.whitehouse.com, which was originally a porn site and is now just a squathouse.

And Apple, like Samsung, General Motors, McDonald's and all the other big corporations will be FORCED to buy their own domain name suffixes, although I can't conceive of any cybersquatter with pockets deep enough to steal the name of a large corporation. But what about non-corporate names? Things like .icecream . . . is Ben and Jerry's going to have to fight it out with Häagen-Dazs and Dreyers for that one? Thereby adding $285,000 to ICANN's coffers for the purchase and a year of maintenance?

All I can think is that.com will now INCREASE in importance as the domain name pool gets further diluted and disorganized. And that's very, very good for me, who owns montrealfood.com, montrealsushi.com, montrealcurry.com, montrealvegetables.com, montrealfruit.com and several others. In fifty years the .com brand will STILL be THE top-level domain name suffix. ICANN can go take a very long, flying fuck. I'll warrant the outcry will be so loud that something will have to give in this ludicrous money grab.

Now, I'm taking donations for . . .

An idea whose time has come!