Yes, I know -- I know you're all saying: "What the fuck does it take to shut this guy up??" perhaps not so elegantly, but before I left you for the day I thought I'd just leave you with the worst movie ever made.
I think I commented somewhere that last year was a great year because while I was semi-trapped in my spider hole in California with no TV, I was able to go on YouTube, and it was really an eye-opener. You can waste literally years there now -- I was able to watch entire episodes of Columbo, in HD, no less -- and pretty much if you do the right looking, you'll be able to find pretty much anything you ever want to watch. (Side note: I actually watched a large part of Airport '75 last night, and if the point of this post, Battlefield Earth wasn't the worst movie ever made, Airport '75 certainly has got to be very, very close behind.
And before I watched Airport '75, I had the opportunity to watch a sci-fi film from 1953 on the "Silver Screen" channel and it was so truly, truly awful -- it made both Airport '75 and Battlefield Earth look like top ten movies of all time in comparison -- there were just no words.
I know I've been known to review restaurants, but reviewing movies has got to be the most wretched of careers that is possible to have -- up there with being an apprentice at the Big Cats section at Brooklyn Zoo.
Shovelling mostly shit is what it comes down to -- there just isn't a better term. Reviewing gay porn movies must be the bottom of a deep barrel but sitting through these things for hours at a time for money . . . I think the poor screenwriter in the linked clip generously compared it to torture at Gitmo.
Nah, this is worse.
Night night, Flock, I've been extremely verbose today and I deserve to give my laptop a good long rest. I was making shrimp with bolognese and spaghettini No. 9 but after thinking about those movies I have totally lost my appetite.
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