Whoa Nelly

Hey! I just realised that I can write anything in the world and you'll read it! See, you're reading it right now! Of course, you can go away, but I know you won't!

I could write anything, maybe about the issue of the rights of Brahmins as opposed to Hindus in rural 20th Century India, or I could write about sex between Canadian squirrels! See? You're reading it!

Your eyes glaze over as you read my words! Don't believe me? Get a pocket mirror and see for yourself! That is an official glaze, dear reader.

You think I'm nuts? Have you examined your local newspaper recently? Have you seen the intense onslaught of meaningless drivel that goes into it, day after day?

That's why you're reading me right this instant! Like a cobra fascinated by a mongoose, you can't tear your eyes away for fear you'll miss what happens next! What is he going to write now? Is it going to be complete and utter nonsense, or is he going to come up with something earthshaking, groundbreaking, eye-aching?

The real problem here is you! You just can't tear yourself away! You're bored at work or you stumbled on this page or you're a loyal reader, but it's YOU that drives me to write these words that you're willingly (or not willingly, if you're in Gitmo with a semi-automatic to your head) reading!

My flock, my flock. How I embrace you! How you endear yourselves to me just by tuning in.

Thus, I will write, my children, I will write. For you, my children, only you.

Let no word go unpunished.