Ya Know XVII

You know, I've now officially been in and out of Québec for about 30 years now. Went through the nevererendums ad nauseam, have pretty much seen it all. But this is not Toronto. I used to hate the Office de la langue française but ya know something?

This is a French island in a sea of anglophones, and I like it that way. I like having businesses named Duc de Lorraine and Atlantique in my neighbourhood. So imagine my ire (well, you don't have to, you're looking at it) when a venerable sushi place called Masako, quite possibly the best sushi place in Montreal and right around the corner from me, goes out of business.

And gets replaced by something calling itself "Café Simply Delicious." Notwithstanding that they haven't even opened yet and their website already features "testimonials", but how dare they call themselves "Café Simply Delicious"?

Hey people, a third of your name is in French. Why not take it all the way? Furthermore, why are you replacing an excellent sushi place with yet another faceless café in a neighbourhood literally bursting at the seams with cafés, most no doubt better than you? And park yourself less than half a block from the incredible Duc de Lorraine, possibly the most famous pastry shop in Montreal? What, you want the runoff business, is that it?

What goes through these people's minds? They're not a conglomerate chain like Second Cup or Starbucks. Why not call yourself "Delicieux" or some other nice original FRENCH name . . . what talented team of marketers came up with your concept? Did you get your hair cut by Stevie Wonder?

Hey, nice clothes, dude. You've got a great sense of humor.