Monday, April 9, 2012

Chapter Three! The Book is Racing Along!

Did you know something? Everybody, but everybody says fact is stranger than fiction or, "You can't make this stuff up!" but the truth is, fiction IS stranger than fact, and you CAN make this stuff up!

This is the key, in my opinion, to writing a good book. Making LOTS and LOTS of stuff up.

Ask former President Nixon about his official biography. No, ask ALL the former presidents about their official biographies. They all practically fabricated maybe 90% of everything in their books.

In fact, ask any popular public figure, past or present, if anything they ever wrote was all God's honest truth. The answer, if they were telling the truth, not their version of the truth, would have to be a resounding YES! They probably WERE all telling the exact truth! Marilyn Monroe was smothered in her bed after being given a heavy dose of morphine by her doctor, by the mafia on orders from then-president John F. Kennedy!

I'll stop there, because the Conspiracy Theorists, who are watching my every move, will say that I blogged about 9/11. And they'll be mighty riled up about that. You see, the truth really IS stranger than fact! They'll accuse me of having a fling with Clay Aiken. See, now in the blurb about this book I can write stuff like "Did the author have a secret affair with not-then-outed American Idol star Clay Aiken?" That alone should guarantee at least fifty sales of the book, at $29.95 apiece! Prettttyyyy damn good, if I must say so myself!

Listen, if there's a world in which Ellen de Generes even exists, all things are possible, even the rise of an obscure Montreal blogger to a best-selling mega-author! I'll buy you all houses in Petawawa, Ontario, flock, because the town has such a silly name. (Everyone knows Wawas don't want to be petted, they want to be rocked! Just listen to George Harrison's misspelled song, "Wah-wah!")

Post Script: Talk about making things up . . .  ask Greg Mortensen

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