Sunday, April 15, 2012

Nasty Food

There's a recipe that Brigitte uses to make chocolate pie that's as old as the hills -- from my old friend Matt Pfeffer, back in the days when a cigarette, cognac and a line of coke would be the post-prandial treats after the mushroom chicken and Matt's pie, which is what I call it these days.

It's still delicious, but one of its main ingredients is Cool Whip. Cool Whip is an evil food. One guy did an experiment where he put a bowl of Cool Whip out next to a bowl of home-whipped cream and while the normal whipped cream was a melted mess the next day, as it should be, the Cool Whip looked exactly the same 14 days later. At room temperature, uncovered.

The hydrogenated oils must be what gives the pie its greasy mouthfeel -- incredibly unctuous, really, and extremely delicious. But the ingredient list is a nightmare . . .  hydrogenated vegetable oil (including coconut and palm oils), high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, skim milk, light cream, and less than 2% sodium caseinate (a milk derivative), natural and artificial flavor, xanthan and guar gums, polysorbate 60, sorbitan monostearate, and beta carotene.

Brigitte just made two pies last night, and like I said, they're delicious. But next time I'm going to have to try to find a substitute for Cruel Whip (howdya like my retouch job?)

2 comments:

  1. Extremely cool (eye roll) retouch job. The stuff is indeed vile. What, pray tell, is wrong with good old fashioned 35% and one minute (more or less) with an electric mixer. Better yet, with a wisk AND you get the added benefit of at least one toned bicep. Some purist pastry chefs still work that way.

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  2. Thanks, cowgrl. Yes, I'm very well acquainted with from-scratch whipped cream . . . just wondering how it would hold up under these freezing conditions. I think next time I'll have Brigitte make it with real whipped cream (I make it all the time, but sometimes I just get lazy).

    But I love that "Cruel Whip" logo . . . I have to figure out how to work an actual whip in there with it. I doubt the Kraft people would be too happy. I should email 'em with it.

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