What to you would be the ideal midnight snack? I’ve had many lifetimes to think about this.
Here’s what I came up with:
It couldn’t be a continuation of last night’s dinner. Ain’t happening. Has to be totally new to the tastebuds.
Five o’clock in the morning is not conducive to cooking. Max is ten minutes to prepare. We are not Dagwood. We do not construct a sandwich out of twenty ingredients. We do not boil pasta.
Vegetables do not qualify for midnight snacks. Vegetables are, and should remain, vegetables. They’re okay when mixed in with non-vegetables, but a late-nite snack is not reheated broccoli.
Hot dogs. They’re extremely versatile. You can boil ‘em, broil ‘em or froil ‘em. Okay, the last is my invention (but you should taste a froiled hot dog!)
But with a can of Chef-Boy-R-Dee Ravioli you have a meal in a can in three minutes wth a sliced all-beef hot dog!
Pizza. NEVER cold, are you insane, you roving pack of starving canines? HEATED in the toaster oven. Comes in under the ten-minute limit.
Spaghetti. It’s kind of yucky reheated but it works in a pinch. But ONLY IF YOU UNDERCOOKED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Plus anything microwaved always ends up being TOO FUCKING HOT.
Popcorn, but only with lots of butter, white vinegar and Southwest Spice. But messy, messy.
No, no . . . here’s the secret. Get your PARTNER to make you a BLT from scratch while you continue to watch the movie, and make sure they layer it correctly, with the right mixture of mustard and mayo and the tomatoes not too thick.
THAT’s the best midnight snack you’ll ever have.
See? You can’t call me not smart.
Nice!
ReplyDeleteHee hee!
ReplyDeleteNick,
ReplyDeleteI'm partial to thinly sliced Genoa salami on toasted baguette myself. I sleep like an angel after that fix.
Best,
Karen
That sounds amazing, MtlCowGirl . . . except I have a tendency to pile on ingredients, a la Dagwood Bumstead.
ReplyDeleteGotta have cheese . . . .gotta have lettuce . . . . gotta have red onion, mustard, mayo, maybe even dill pickles . . . plus some San Daniele ham.
But I wouldn't quibble if you somehow came over at 5 a.m. and decided to make me a Genoa Salami baguette. Quibbling would be the furthest thing from my mind.
Dear Nick,
ReplyDeleteIf I were still in NDG, that could have been a possibility. Since I am now in New Jersey, not so much.
We could have compared Bloody Ceasars. I like mine REALLY hot. BTW, I can't find Matouk's here in New Jersey. Man! There is nothing like Matouk's. It will rev up a hamburger like a 1200 V Twin.
Peace,
Karen
Hmm. Will have to look up Matouk's. But hands down, I make the best Bloody Caesar in the universe.
ReplyDeleteIn the Univoise! Even dough youse in Joisey! I makes da best!
BTW you may consider coming back to Mtl. In any case I can imagine, that would be the best solution for anything that ails ye.
Just for my Bloody Caesar. Just for my Bloody Caesar. Taxi home and wheelchair included.