Why Do I Bother

Dear Beneficiary,
>
>Having reviewed all the obstacles and problems surrounding the transfer of your (USD$1,800,000..00) and your inability to meet up with some charges levied against you due to the past transfer options, We the Board of Directors, Bank Of Africa (BOA) has ordered our Foreign Payment Remittance Unit to issue you a CORPORATE VISA CARD where your payment will be uploaded and today, we got notice that your Payment has been uploaded into this CORPORATE VISA CARD and also have registered it with DHL for delivery to you.
>
>For your information, The delivery charges has been paid and they were supposed to have shipped your packaged ATM CARD but they insisted that you must re-confirm to them your current delivery address to ensure accurate Delivery.
>MOST IMPORTANT: Due to the content of the package, DHL mandated that before your package will be shipped, A Tax/Stamp Duty MUST be procured according to the New Customs Creed and the importance of such Document is to ensure a hitch-free delivery and the amount is $185.00USD.
>
>Therefore re-confirm your current delivery address (i.e 1. Full Names, 2. Delivery Address and 3. Telephone Number) to DHL.
>
>
>MIKE BAYO
>
>DHL International Nigeria
>Lot No. 5 crecent awolowo road
>lagos
>Email: barrjamesobot@in.com
>
>Tel: +234-8071-808-398
>
>Please hurry now as your package might incure demurrages if it stays more than 3days with DHL.
>
>Thanks,
>Barrister james obot
>For the Management of BOA.
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Mikey, Mikey, Mikey!

Has it ever occurred to you to learn my name? My name is not Beneficiary! It's Peter!

I'm so sorry that so many "obstacles" have gotten in the way of your delivering to me one-million-eight-*hundred* messhuginahs, direct to my personal bank account! It must keep you up nights thinking "Jeez, there's all that money burning a hole in my threadbare pocket and this guy, whose name I don't know, doesn't want it! How's about _I_ take the whole bunch and forget this loser who doesn't think one-million-eight-*hundred* messhuginahs is worth anything!"

I sympathize! Hey, the economy is on a downward spiral and we all need the sparse millions that are floating around. I myself have had to give up my island in Turks and Caicos and Peter Frampton, the singer, has sued me for not providing enough toilet paper in his private cabin. Twenty-five dollars! Twenty-five dollars, it costs for a roll of the finest, and he's suing me! For twenty-five dollars! To each his own.

UPLOAD AWAY! I'm hurting, hurting hurting, all my resort properties are DOING BADLY and I could really use an 18,000,000 dollar hit right about now!

What do you want first -- my personal information, or all my credit card information and bank accounts? Could I interest you in what school I take my kid to day care? You don't have a kid? Shit, let me tell you, it can be tough! First you have to get the diapers together and then you have to make sure he doesn't have his socks on backwards. No, really, you do!

Anyway, Spikey-Spike, get back to me ASAP and I will GLADLY wire you every single personal detail you want through that bastion of good sense, Western Union, and then I'll be wining and dining in the finest restaurants throughout western Nigeria!

All my treasured best, Mikey, thanks for taking the time out to write me!

Yours always,

Beneficiary