I really, really, never have to worry about being overweight. Hey, if I ever get over 165 I start worrying. But I don't have to. My portion size and appetite is the stuff of jokes with all my friends. It's really pitiful, especially for someone who loves cooking and loves food.
And I've always been that way. I remember many times coming home from school and there was nothing prepared to eat and I didn't know how to cook so I just said "Fuck it. I'll lose some weight." I wish I could put all the pounds I lost that way into a package! (BTW, don't worry, I found them all under my couch the other day).
I'm the guy who cuts his hamburger in half, the remainder to be . . . uhh . . . donated to someone (there's always someone!) who'll microwave it into oblivion.
I'm the guy who hesitates before eating the delicious bread at the restaurant, fearful that I won't have enough room for the main course, let alone the appetizer.
I'm the guy who, having eaten the bread, declares a truce after four forkfuls of the main course and gestures the waiter over and says "Can I take this home?"
I'm the guy who ends up never eating anything I take home from the restaurant. I have trouble eating anything, let alone used food from a restaurant.
So when I eat, I don't mind an extremely high calorie count. Because I know I'm just getting thinner.
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