Upon Being Gay and Reviled

I'm not even close to gay. The only experiences I had with needy gay guys were in boarding school and an actual celebrity racquetball player.

Verdict: NOT GAY.

But what the fuck is up with people's problems with people who DON'T HAVE THE SAME SEXUAL/GENDER PREFERENCES AS THEM?

A kid who commits suicide because he's bullied incessantly? A kid who's NOT gay but who's constantly accused of being gay? (Hey, I heard a rumor once in my 20s that I might be gay. I couldn't give a fuck. In fact, it was an honor.)

Sorry, guys, I only love women, but it's a tragedy that gays and lesbians are persecuted UNTIL DEATH with things that are ARE NOBODY'S FUCKING BUSINESS.

Hey, I'm Jewish. Okay, so I lied. I'm nowhere near being Jewish.

But WHAT GIVES YOU THE ROYAL RIGHT TO CARE? Fucking go home and fuck your dog or use your dildo but LEAVE INNOCENT PEOPLE ALONE.

I'm allowed to call you a fuckwad. But I'm not allowed to threaten you for being a fuckwad.

Fuck, I'm not EVEN QUALIFIED TO CALL YOU A FUCKWAD. I didn't go to a special school to qualify human beings and WHAT THEY FUCKING INNOCENTLY DO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.

What, you think every time I take a bath I should be judged on how exactly I wash myself?

So excuse you me and don't be a fuckwad. Gays and lesbians are just human beings, just like YOU, fuckwad. (Oops, sorry. Broke my own rule).