A Knife Story, For a Change

Now that there are two choppers around here, it was obvious to me that we needed two good chef's knives. Mine is already good, so I ordered one on eBay, thinking, Well, mine is Damascus steel, this is Damascus steel (half the price!) so what could be wrong with that?

Lots, as it turned out. Ignoring the fact that it took 45 days to arrive (more on that later), I took it out of its "box" and immediately knew I'd never use it. It was extremely heavy, for one. It was badly balanced, for two. And it wasn't sharp.

My test for sharp is The Tomato Test. If, using no pressure, only the weight of the knife itself, the blade immediately penetrates the skin instead of just impressing a blunt line, the knife is sharp (try it with your knife and a tomato. I'd like to hear the results of your tests). This knife failed the Tomato Test.

Add to that, the first time I washed it, I was appalled to come back an hour later to see it merrily rusting away. I kid you not.

$101 down the drain. (When I tried to file a claim with PayPal they told me the claim time limit was 45 days. Guess what? $101 down the drain. Anyone want a rusty, dull never-used knife with a nice cedar handle? Mail me a stamped, self-addressed knife box).

So we decided to go with what we have, and in Brigitte's case it was a serviceable, no-name, very blunt chef's knife. It was nice enough, though, well balanced and from I could see, a nice blade.

I tried sharpening it with the stone but it didn't work. Hard steel. So we decided to take it in. Somewhere. But we didn't know where, so we tried a couple of key shops but no one sharpened knives.

One of them recommended a place on Van Horne called Paris. "They sharpen hockey skate blades."

I should have taken that as an ominous warning.

But we went there anyway, and I decided to take my precious Kasumi with me as well.

The young guy said "Sure, I can sharpen these." And he proceeded to grind them in some godawful grinding machine for a few minutes. "Eight dollars."

I got home, did the Tomato Test on both and was horrified. The Kasumi was useless, where when I took it in it easily passed the test. Brigitte's was still useless.

But all Knife stories have good endings, as we all know. My friend Barry Lazar recommended a place in Laval called Bertoldi's.

So we popped up there on this very sunny morning. It's extremely hard to find -- hidden in a warren of side streets off the 15 to the Laurentians, but they were very pleasant and said they could have them in an hour, so we buzzed off to Carrefour Laval.

(Side story: found a place there called Le Rouet, that was having an astonishing 95%-off sale. Imagine a nice set of pasta bowls for four, quality stuff, for $2.50. We bought four. They usually cost $25. Get your sweet peasant asses down there before they're all gone).

Anyway, back to Bertoldi's to find out that I owed them not $40, not $20, but $8.

I didn't even look at the knives. Just brought them home and did the Tomato Test.

I could shave with both of them (matter of fact I might, tomorrow -- my razor's getting a bit worn).

So I really enjoyed making a mirepoix for my Bolognese this afternoon -- an hour of untold bliss.

See? I told you it'd be a knife story.

UPDATE:

We've decided we're going to go up to Laval tomorrow and buy ten pasta sets. For $25. Got that? $25 for TEN PASTA SETS FOR FOUR PEOPLE PLUS A SERVING BOWL. I'm posting this late so YOU< MY DEAR PEASANTS, CAN'T GO BEFORE US AND BUY THEM OUT FIRST.